No Starbucks - the world goes to bed early and gets up late

Sometimes you just need to stop and smell the coffee - especially if the coffee is starting to taste a little off - especially if your the king of coffee conglomerates - and ESPECIALLY if your name is Starbucks.

As a matter of fact, Starbucks listens well, deciding to close 7,100 of its stores for three hours on Tuesday night. But why? One can only imagine the cries of terror from millions of caffeine addicts trolling Wall Street. The answer comes in the form the corporate version of coffee re-education camp for Starbucks employees everywhere the nation.

The brief store closings is a response to Starbucks' declining sales and slower rate of expansion. As the Times delicately proclaims, "it (Starbucks) is increasingly seen as just another big food chain." Sounds like a little bit of espresso nostalgia. I seem to remember hearing that all coffee served to Americans is stale. Yup. High quantities of coffee beans imported from foreign farms... far, far, away. Take that, coffee snobs. Don't believe me?

So here's the bottom line: After months of a sharp decline in investor confidence and closing more than 100 of its stores, the approved Starbucks solution is to close for three hours, re-train, re-open and.. VOILA ... the PR manager at headquarters should be patting himself on the back!

Not so fast.

Coffee miracles don't happen overnight, especially when it comes to revamping a company's image on the national level. This is a clever move that will dupe most American coffee loyalists into thinking that it will back to the good 'ol days from now on. Just to prove they're serious about going back to the basics of being the coffee empire, however, Starbucks plans to remove all sandwiches and snacks that omit any lingering smell (GASP!). They just want customers to smell the coffee.
I can already see the first few customers coming back in and swearing that the coffee is "soooooooo much better now." You've fooled us all, oh majesty of the latte.

Almost.

When boring is better

So many people argue, and rightfully so, that the majority of today's advertising is completely avoidable. While the average consumer is experiencing a barrage of different media inputs on a daily basis, every business has become a contender in the war of having the most creative edge.

Let's face it. Traditional media is going to make the cut forever. Today's consumer markets are increasingly webcentric. Search engines, YouTube, RSS feeds, the blogosphere, and you name it are becoming the frontier of tomorrow's advertising and the focus of most PR initiatives. As my high school jazz teacher put it, keep it "hip" and the people will dig it.

I would argue that this isn't always the case. Instead of trying to reinvent the mecca of attention-grabbing advertising techniques, why not go back to the basics?

So here's an idea.

A.J. Kubani is the founder of the 25-year-old company called Telebrands. You know the 30-60 minute product demonstrations featuring obscure gadgets on T.V.? The pet steps? The stick-up light bulb? He's the mastermind behind the operation. You can purchase just about anything from him with a few easy payments of $19.95. Corny and as bland as Telebrands might seem, they've been putting quite a few nickels into their piggy bank over the past 25 years.

But if Telebrands is the epitome of anti-innovative marketing, why are they the king of T.V. product sales?

Whenever Telebrands advertises during prime time on a popular channel, not only is it expensive, but "people are unresponsive," says Mr. K. They're too engrossed in the show. Better to advertise on channels where your ads are the most interesting thing. Kubani's favorites? The Game Show Network and Fox News. Yes, really.

Here's the bottom line. Businesses can be original by sticking to the root of key message delivery. Advertise where people expect to see it... or even want to see it. Sometimes shoving promotions into emails, text messages, or even the lines in between parking spaces - it's just too much.

Keep it real, keep it relevant, and try letting the consumer come to you.